We’ve all been there – that moment when we feel like we need to give just a little bit more. Push a little harder, work a little longer, squeeze every last drop of effort out of ourselves and our day. We tell ourselves it’s for the best, for better results, for that extra bit of success. What if “more” isn’t always better? What if, in our relentless pursuit of maximizing output, we’re actually making things… bitter?
I learned this lesson in a surprisingly simple way, with a dozen oranges and thirsty kids.
The Best Orange Juice Ever?
My mother-in-law gave me a big bag of fresh oranges. They looked vibrant and smelled amazing. My kids were thrilled, instantly clamoring for fresh juice. I still have a lot of things to do, but seeing their excitement, how could I say no?
I started squeezing the first half of the orange. The juice flowed freely, filling about half a pitcher. The taste was sweet, tangy, and refreshing. My kids loved it, saying it was “the best orange juice ever!” Their joy was my reward. I felt a surge of satisfaction. I smirked in triumph. See? Fresh, homemade, and kid-approved. For the first time, I felt like I was doing something right as a dad!
The Bitter Mistake of Over-Squeezing
Inspired by their encouragement and a touch of my own overachieving drive, I eagerly moved on to the second half of the oranges. “If half a pitcher was this good,” I thought, “imagine how much better a full pitcher will be!” With full vigor, I squeezed even harder. I really put my back into it, determined to extract every last drop of juice. I squeezed, twisted, pushed further than I needed to.
And I did it. I filled the pitcher almost to the brim – closer to three-quarters full, maybe even a bit more. Success! More fresh juice for everyone to enjoy! I proudly poured from the extra-full pitcher into their glasses. They took a few sips, and I saw their faces wrinkle.
It wasn’t good.
“Dad,” my daughter said hesitantly, “this tastes… different.”
Confused, I took a taste myself. They were right. Different was an understatement. It tasted bitter. Unpleasantly and surprisingly bitter. The once sweet, tangy, and refreshing taste had taken on a sharp, acrid edge. The pitcher was completely undrinkable for the kids. What could be the problem? They’re the same batch of oranges?!
Bitter Juice, Bitter Burnout: The Realization
Later, I did a little research. And here’s a simple explanation: Oversqueezing oranges can release compounds from the peel that make the juice bitter. In my quest for more, I ended up with less: less enjoyment, less flavor, and a disappointing juice that nobody wanted. Ultimately, it was just me, reluctantly finishing the bitter drink, feeling a mix of obligation and disappointment.
Standing there, sipping the bitter juice, I suddenly realized something. “This is just like burnout.”
Think about it. Initially, like the first half of the oranges, our efforts can be sweet, productive, and joyful. We’re energized, we’re seeing results, and we’re genuinely enjoying the process. That initial pitcher of juice was a pure delight.
But then, life often tells us to push harder. Society, deadlines, internal pressure, the desire to achieve “more” – they all whisper, sometimes shout, “Squeeze harder!” Do more! Go the extra mile! And we listen. We are convinced that through unwavering dedication and by extracting every ounce of our time, energy, and essence, we will accomplish remarkable feats.
We squeeze and we squeeze and we squeeze. We work longer hours, sacrifice rest, ignore our bodies’ signals, and push ourselves beyond healthy limits. We’re determined to fill that pitcher to the brim, to maximize our output, to be “super-achievers.”
But just like oversqueezing oranges, oversqueezing ourselves leads to bitterness. That initial sweetness, that joy and enthusiasm we once felt, starts to fade. Replaced by exhaustion, cynicism, and a deep sense of… well, bitterness.
Burnout: Dad’s Constant Companion
For us dads, burnout is always hanging around. It’s like it’s just waiting for us, ready to pounce if we’re not careful. This feeling is increasingly recognized by experts. The American Psychological Association (APA) says that: “Parental burnout is a lot more common than most parents think.” (read more about parental burnout and stress here)
I learned the hard way that you can definitely oversqueeze yourself. The year 2022 proved to be remarkably fruitful:
- I wrote 100 articles.
- Read 17 books
- Hit record sales for Chromebooks
- Paid off all our debts
- Got a new phone (for me and my wife)
- Even managed a new (well, new to us, secondhand) car.
Looking back, it felt amazing. I was on fire. Like I was squeezing every drop out of life, getting the maximum juice. But just like with the oranges, I think I squeezed too hard.
Because in 2023, it all flipped. The opposite occurred. Suddenly, at the start of the year, I was hit with this wall of tiredness. Bone-deep tiredness. I dreaded reading or writing – things I usually loved. Just the thought made me feel sick. The joy was gone. Motivation? Zero. I probably pushed myself too hard, which weakened my body and even caused me to get sick with vestibular neuritis. It messed with my inner ear and put me flat on my back for nine whole months. Nine months in bed – one of the most bitter experiences I ever had. That was a harsh reminder that sometimes, “more” really does lead to “less”.
Understanding the Bitter Taste of Burnout
Burnout isn’t just about being tired according to the World Health Organization (WHO). It’s a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion brought on by prolonged or excessive stress. It’s characterized by:
Exhaustion
Feeling drained, depleted, and lacking energy, like you have nothing left to give. Think of the orange pulp, squeezed dry.
Cynicism and Detachment
Feeling negative, irritable, and detached from your work, your relationships, and even things you used to enjoy. That initial excitement was replaced by dread.
Reduced Professional Efficacy
Feeling like you’re not accomplishing anything, even when you are working harder than ever. The output becomes less enjoyable, less effective.
Like my kids, who rejected the bitter juice, people with burnout often see a decline in their work quality, relationships, and overall well-being. The more they tried to achieve, the less they actually enjoyed, and the less effective they became.
Finding the Sweet Spot: “Enough” is Perfect
The lesson from the oranges is that sometimes “enough” is perfect. Working at a sustainable pace, putting in just enough effort to feel joyful and allowing time for rest, can be more effective and rewarding in the long run than overexerting ourselves.
We need to learn to recognize when we’ve reached that point of “perfect sweetness.” To appreciate our achievements, enjoy the journey, and know when to stop before things turn bitter.
This isn’t about laziness or complacency. It’s about sustainability. It’s about understanding our own limits and working with them, not against them. It’s about recognizing that rest and joy are not luxuries, but essential ingredients for long-term success and well-being.
A Sweeter Year: Working Within Limits
In 2024, I decided to change things up and work within my limits. I told myself: just 3 to 4 hours of work a day, maximum. In that time, I’d focus and get as much done as possible. But when those hours were up, I’d stop. No more squeezing. Just be content with what I got done and know that I can get back to it tomorrow.
Of course, I didn’t crank out as much stuff as I would have liked to that year. I wrote only 9 articles and read 10 books. But you know what? I actually enjoyed doing them again. Working felt good after a very long time. Also surprisingly, even with less time at work, our Chromebook sales in 2024 surpassed those of the hectic year in 2022! It showed me that working all the time isn’t always the way to get the best results.
Savor the Sweetness, Avoid the Bitter
Next time you feel like pushing yourself too hard for more, think of the bitter orange juice. Keep in mind that being productive and joyful doesn’t always mean working harder, but rather finding the right balance of “just enough.” Let’s aim to squeeze out juice that is enjoyed by everyone, including ourselves, and avoid the bitter taste of burnout.
True success may not be about how much we achieve, but rather the joy and contentment we find along the way. Leaving a bit of juice in the orange can help us enjoy the filled pitcher without bitterness.