And none of it makes sense.
*
I lift weights. I eat clean. I sleep eight hours a night. Caring for my family requires caring for my body.
I don’t treat fitness as a hobby; I treat it as a responsibility. Yet, despite the discipline and the routine, here I am—flat on my back.
What makes even less sense is what is happening right now.
My two children are preparing my medicine, bringing me water, and brewing my coffee.
My wife is sitting beside me, cutting my food and lifting a spoon to my lips.
Every instinct in me wants to turn my head away and clamp my mouth shut.
As a father, a husband, and the protector of this home, I am powerless.
I should be the one providing.
I should be the one loving.
I should be the one serving.
Having my wife hold a spoon to my mouth is a humiliating demotion from provider to dependent.
How do I make sense of this?
*
Here is what I realized: helplessness gives others the opportunity to love you.
We know in our bones that “it is more blessed to give than to receive.”
But we take that truth so aggressively that we turn into world-class givers and terrible receivers. We monopolize generosity as if we are the only ones permitted to be blessed by God.
We want to be the sole provider, the proactive lover, the one holding the wallet, the one driving the car. But beneath that noble intention of being “responsible,” there often lurks a quiet, stubborn pride.
Giving keeps us capable and in control. Receiving makes us look weak and indebted.
But love cannot survive on the exhale alone. It has to breathe.
Give to receive.
Receive to give.
Give and be blessed.
Receive and let them bless.
When a father refuses to be served, he starves his home of that breath. He robs his family of the opportunity to bless—and to be blessed.
*
Now it makes sense why I am pinned to this mattress.
Sometimes, the highest form of generosity is not what you provide. It is having the humility to receive.
The food is waiting on the spoon.
My only work now is to be still, unclench my jaw, and let myself be loved.