Before, my biggest dread was high school.
I watched older kids solve problems like a + b = x, while I was still trying to figure out the product of 4 and 5.
No matter how I looked at it, I couldn’t find the answer. The thought of having to deal with that problem in the future made me want to stay in grade school forever.
Ten years later, not only did I finish high school, but I graduated college as well.
Thank God.
*
Today, the math I face is different.
It’s calculating college costs while Jrue has just finished kindergarten.
It’s estimating a wedding budget for nine-year-old Joab.
It’s agonizing over our old-age expenses in our forties.
Looking at my savings rate today, I don’t see how I’ll afford them. And just like when I was a kid, those math problems give me the same dread that keeps me awake at night.
*
There is a phrase I have embraced recently:
“I’ll leave tomorrow’s problems to tomorrow’s me.”
I got it from One Punch Man.
At first, I saw it as funny, lazy, and irresponsible. But later I found that it has a profound meaning. It gave me the punch I needed to stop shadowboxing with the future.
Jesus said something similar in Matthew 6:34:
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”
Tomorrow’s fight will happen tomorrow.
Fighting it today is like the younger me trying to solve algebra. I’m bound to lose because I don’t have the right tools for it yet.
The “Level 40 Jed” should not try to fight the battles of “Level 60 Jed.”
What I need to focus on instead are the present lessons:
Add income.
Subtract expenses.
Divide them into budgets.
Multiply what I have.
Being faithful to today’s short quizzes will prepare me for tomorrow’s final exams.
Looking back, the equations that kept me awake ten years ago have all been solved. The fights I once dreaded have already been won.
It’s okay if I don’t have all the answers today.
Tomorrow’s me will.
Thank God.