Dad’s Homeschool Decision: Honest Pros & Cons & Real Talk

Choosing the right education for your kids? It’s a question that hits every parent hard. Perhaps this question wasn’t too difficult for our parents back then. By default, they simply throw us to their alma mater when we get to school age.

Today, the reality of Metro Manila traffic, children’s safety issues, and the growing popularity of homeschooling in the Philippines have complicated the process of selecting the best education for our kids.

As dads, we are meant to provide and guide. And when it comes to our children’s future, we want to make the best call. I know, I have experienced the weight of that decision firsthand. Yet, here we are, my son Joab has been homeschooled since pre-K, and now he is in second grade. It’s been quite the journey!

This post is about sharing our experience and exploring the pros and cons of homeschooling.

AdvantagesDisadvantages
Personalized LearningSignificant Time Commitment & Parent Involvement
Stronger Family BondFinancial Considerations
Controlled and Healthier Learning EnvironmentSocialization Requires Intentionality
Flexibility and Time EfficiencyParental Burnout
Potential Parent-Child Relationship Strain
Parental Doubts

Homeschooling advantages and disadvantages table

The Advantages of Homeschooling: What Makes It Attractive?

So, why are more and more families choosing to homeschool? Let’s start with the upsides:

Personalized Learning: Tailored to Thrive

Think of education made just for your child. Homeschooling discards the one-size-fits-all classroom, catering to individual learning styles, paces, and passions. Is your son a hands-on learner? Engage him in projects and experiments. Does your daughter love to read on her own? Let them explore at their own speed.

This focused approach can be remarkably effective, especially for unique learning needs. If you’re someone who values efficiency and results, you will find this learning style beneficial. As William Butler Yeats said, “Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.” Personalized homeschooling aims to ignite that fire. This changed the game for us, and it stems from a strong root: parental observation.

Being involved in our son’s education allows us to see how he learns, where he excels, and where he needs help. We can quickly identify his weaknesses, enabling us to address and concentrate on those specific areas for improvement. And just as important, we see his strengths blossom, which we can then encourage and nurture further. This constant, close observation means we can adapt his learning in real time to truly maximize his potential.

It’s like being a coach who’s always on the sidelines, giving specific, tailored guidance every step of the way. And it goes way beyond textbooks and worksheets. We have transformed our house into various themes to enhance the immersive learning experience; however, the true magic lies in taking education outdoors. We have encountered animals up close at the zoo, ventured through the wonders of the universe at the planetarium, and traversed the pages of history at renowned historical sites. These immersive experiences are incredibly enriching and make learning come alive in a way that’s just different from a classroom.

Learn more about our decision to homeschool our son: Why Homeschool?

Stronger Family Bonds: Learning Together, Growing Closer

Homeschooling is more than just academics; it’s about weaving learning into the fabric of our family life. Consider the extra time spent together, the shared experiences, and the chance to teach our family values daily. We’re not just overseeing education; we’re shaping character and creating a deep, lasting connection.

For families valuing close relationships and shared values, this is a powerful way to strengthen those bonds. The everyday moments of learning we share—like the spontaneous history lessons sparked by a documentary we watched as a family, or the wonder we experienced while exploring a new museum together—will forge a special bond that we would never trade for anything.

Controlled and Healthier Learning Environment

Let’s be real, school environments aren’t always ideal. Homeschooling offers a sanctuary, addressing concerns about bullying, negative peer pressure, classroom distractions, and health. You create a nurturing, focused, and healthier space for your child’s growth, minimizing unnecessary anxieties and negative influences.

One significant advantage we’ve noticed is that Joab tends to get sick less frequently compared to children in traditional schools, where illnesses are often brought home. That protective environment really makes a difference to our peace of mind.

Flexibility and Time Efficiency: Life on Your Terms

Say goodbye to rigid schedules dictated by the school bell and the daily grind of the school run! Homeschooling unlocks a world of flexibility and unexpected time savings. Think about traveling during off-peak seasons, easier appointments, and the freedom to dive deeply into extracurricular activities or hobbies. Learning integrates into life, not just a building.

Not having to deal with traffic, getting ready for school, and washing uniforms saves us a lot of time. Those saved hours each week really add up to more quality time for learning, hobbies, friends, and family. Personally, the flexibility has been invaluable, allowing me to bring my family along to client meetings. Joab eagerly participates in his school activities at his classroom of the day, like Starbucks or Tim Horton’s, while I concentrate on work, and afterward we transition into family time at the mall. Homeschooling allowed me to blend work and family life in a way traditional schooling doesn’t allow.

Key Challenges of Homeschooling: Important Considerations for Parents

Now, let’s be upfront, homeschooling isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s vital to understand the challenges before you jump in:

Significant Time Commitment & Parent Involvement

Homeschooling is not a part-time gig. It’s a significant time commitment, especially for the primary homeschooling parent. We’re talking lesson planning, teaching, managing resources, and being consistently present and engaged. It can be overwhelming and require serious adjustments to schedules and careers.

Dads, this impacts the whole family dynamic. As a couple, you need to discuss how this time investment will impact your work, household duties, and personal time. Let me tell you, the “time commitment” con is no joke! Balancing work and homeschooling is an art that takes time and effort to master. It’s something every family needs to honestly consider.

Financial Considerations: It Adds Up

Many consider homeschooling for its affordability. While it’s true that the upfront costs may seem lower, there are many hidden expenses that can quickly add up. Curriculum, resources, supplies, and extracurricular activities all cost money. And let’s be honest, if one parent reduces work hours or quits their job to homeschool, it can affect the family’s income.

Homeschooling comes with its own financial considerations. Practical financial planning is essential. Research curriculum costs, consider activity expenses, and evaluate necessary income changes to make homeschooling financially sustainable for your family. For more on homeschooling costs, read our post: Is Homeschooling Affordable?

Socialization Requires Intentionality

“What about socialization?” It’s the first question everyone throws at homeschooling families, and it’s a valid one. If you’re not proactive, yes, homeschooling could lead to isolation or hamper social development. However, socialization in general, whether in homeschooling or traditional schooling, requires parental effort.

Unlike in traditional schools where socialization happens in a chaotic schoolyard, homeschool socialization can be intentional, diverse, and positive. Think co-ops, homeschool groups, sports teams, clubs, and community activities. Socialization in homeschooling is about quality, not just quantity. Interestingly, studies often reveal that homeschooled children actually score at or above average on measures of social and emotional well-being.

Intentionality is the key. For us, we regularly attend Sunday school for community building, visit indoor and outdoor playgrounds to meet new kids, and arrange play dates with friends’ children for social interaction. These simple measures help our kids build a vibrant social life.

Parental Burnout is a Real Risk

Homeschooling, while rewarding, can be demanding and isolating for the homeschooling parent. Burnout is a real risk. Emotional strain, feeling overwhelmed, and the need for consistent self-care are crucial considerations. Dads, this is where our support becomes invaluable. Be an active partner. Offer breaks, take on some teaching tasks, encourage your wife to have her own social outlets and hobbies.

Recognizing the emotional and mental challenges faced by homeschooling parents is crucial for a successful and sustainable experience for the entire family. “It takes a village to raise a child.” This proverb truly applies to homeschooling; support is not a luxury, but a necessity. Check out my article on burnout: Dad Burnout & Orange Juice: Finding the Sweet Spot

Potential Parent-Child Relationship Strain

Homeschooling can blur the lines between parent and teacher. The nurturing parent is now also the authority figure, enforcing academic tasks and correcting mistakes. This shift can sometimes lead to frustration and tension between parents and children.

Role conflict can lead to power struggles and increased arguments during learning times. Building a strong relationship with our children is important, but homeschooling can create challenges that make it difficult. It’s important to intentionally separate the roles of “teacher” and “parent,” and to stay patient and understanding, especially during tough learning moments.

Open communication and discernment on when the “teacher hat” needs to come off are critical. We’ve had homeschooling days with Joab when we both needed a break from the teacher-student role to reconnect as parent and son.

Parental Doubts: “Am I Doing Enough?”

Even with all the positives, homeschooling parents often grapple with self-doubt.

  • “Am I qualified enough?”
  • “Am I doing everything right?”
  • “Are we truly maximizing our child’s potential compared to traditional schooling?”

These questions can creep in, even when things are going well. There’s a constant internal evaluation and a pressure to ensure you’re providing a complete and effective education. This doubt can sometimes lead to burnout or second-guessing the homeschooling decision.

It’s normal to have doubts, especially for the main homeschooling parent, often mothers. My wife is worried that we may not be challenging Joab enough with homeschooling compared to traditional schooling. It’s a valid point. As dads, we can offer reassurance and support. This emphasizes the importance of continual evaluation, seeking external feedback, connecting with other homeschooling families for support, and understanding that “different” doesn’t mean “inferior” in education. Discussing doubts as a couple and finding solutions is essential for confident, long-term homeschooling.

Bottom Line

Homeschooling is a personal choice that offers both great opportunities and real challenges. It’s not a decision to take lightly. Have those honest family conversations, carefully weigh the pros and cons for your unique situation, and research thoroughly. Ultimately, no matter which educational journey you embark on, what truly counts is your commitment to your children and your growth as a family man.

Follow the Journey

This journal is my way of making sense of the lessons from the journey. Get the next full entry delivered straight to your inbox.

Dad Burnout & Orange Juice: Finding the Sweet Spot

We’ve all been there – that moment when we feel like we need to give just a little bit more. Push a little harder, work a little longer, squeeze every last drop of effort out of ourselves and our day. We tell ourselves it’s for the best, for better results, for that extra bit of success. What if “more” isn’t always better? What if, in our relentless pursuit of maximizing output, we’re actually making things… bitter?

I learned this lesson in a surprisingly simple way, with a dozen oranges and thirsty kids.

The Best Orange Juice Ever?

My mother-in-law gave me a big bag of fresh oranges. They looked vibrant and smelled amazing. My kids were thrilled, instantly clamoring for fresh juice. I still have a lot of things to do, but seeing their excitement, how could I say no?

I started squeezing the first half of the orange. The juice flowed freely, filling about half a pitcher. The taste was sweet, tangy, and refreshing. My kids loved it, saying it was “the best orange juice ever!” Their joy was my reward. I felt a surge of satisfaction. I smirked in triumph. See? Fresh, homemade, and kid-approved. For the first time, I felt like I was doing something right as a dad!

The Bitter Mistake of Over-Squeezing

Inspired by their encouragement and a touch of my own overachieving drive, I eagerly moved on to the second half of the oranges. “If half a pitcher was this good,” I thought, “imagine how much better a full pitcher will be!” With full vigor, I squeezed even harder. I really put my back into it, determined to extract every last drop of juice. I squeezed, twisted, pushed further than I needed to.

And I did it. I filled the pitcher almost to the brim – closer to three-quarters full, maybe even a bit more. Success! More fresh juice for everyone to enjoy! I proudly poured from the extra-full pitcher into their glasses. They took a few sips, and I saw their faces wrinkle.

It wasn’t good.

“Dad,” my daughter said hesitantly, “this tastes… different.”

Confused, I took a taste myself. They were right. Different was an understatement. It tasted bitter. Unpleasantly and surprisingly bitter. The once sweet, tangy, and refreshing taste had taken on a sharp, acrid edge. The pitcher was completely undrinkable for the kids. What could be the problem? They’re the same batch of oranges?!

Bitter Juice, Bitter Burnout: The Realization

Later, I did a little research. And here’s a simple explanation: Oversqueezing oranges can release compounds from the peel that make the juice bitter. In my quest for more, I ended up with less: less enjoyment, less flavor, and a disappointing juice that nobody wanted. Ultimately, it was just me, reluctantly finishing the bitter drink, feeling a mix of obligation and disappointment.

Standing there, sipping the bitter juice, I suddenly realized something. “This is just like burnout.”

Think about it. Initially, like the first half of the oranges, our efforts can be sweet, productive, and joyful. We’re energized, we’re seeing results, and we’re genuinely enjoying the process. That initial pitcher of juice was a pure delight.

But then, life often tells us to push harder. Society, deadlines, internal pressure, the desire to achieve “more” – they all whisper, sometimes shout, “Squeeze harder!” Do more! Go the extra mile! And we listen. We are convinced that through unwavering dedication and by extracting every ounce of our time, energy, and essence, we will accomplish remarkable feats.

We squeeze and we squeeze and we squeeze. We work longer hours, sacrifice rest, ignore our bodies’ signals, and push ourselves beyond healthy limits. We’re determined to fill that pitcher to the brim, to maximize our output, to be “super-achievers.”

But just like oversqueezing oranges, oversqueezing ourselves leads to bitterness. That initial sweetness, that joy and enthusiasm we once felt, starts to fade. Replaced by exhaustion, cynicism, and a deep sense of… well, bitterness.

Burnout: Dad’s Constant Companion

For us dads, burnout is always hanging around. It’s like it’s just waiting for us, ready to pounce if we’re not careful. This feeling is increasingly recognized by experts. The American Psychological Association (APA) says that: “Parental burnout is a lot more common than most parents think.” (read more about parental burnout and stress here)

I learned the hard way that you can definitely oversqueeze yourself. The year 2022 proved to be remarkably fruitful:

  • I wrote 100 articles.
  • Read 17 books
  • Hit record sales for Chromebooks
  • Paid off all our debts
  • Got a new phone (for me and my wife)
  • Even managed a new (well, new to us, secondhand) car.

Looking back, it felt amazing. I was on fire. Like I was squeezing every drop out of life, getting the maximum juice. But just like with the oranges, I think I squeezed too hard.

Because in 2023, it all flipped. The opposite occurred. Suddenly, at the start of the year, I was hit with this wall of tiredness. Bone-deep tiredness. I dreaded reading or writing – things I usually loved. Just the thought made me feel sick. The joy was gone. Motivation? Zero. I probably pushed myself too hard, which weakened my body and even caused me to get sick with vestibular neuritis. It messed with my inner ear and put me flat on my back for nine whole months. Nine months in bed – one of the most bitter experiences I ever had. That was a harsh reminder that sometimes, “more” really does lead to “less”.

Understanding the Bitter Taste of Burnout

Burnout isn’t just about being tired according to the World Health Organization (WHO). It’s a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion brought on by prolonged or excessive stress. It’s characterized by:

Exhaustion

Feeling drained, depleted, and lacking energy, like you have nothing left to give. Think of the orange pulp, squeezed dry.

Cynicism and Detachment

Feeling negative, irritable, and detached from your work, your relationships, and even things you used to enjoy. That initial excitement was replaced by dread.

Reduced Professional Efficacy

Feeling like you’re not accomplishing anything, even when you are working harder than ever. The output becomes less enjoyable, less effective.

Like my kids, who rejected the bitter juice, people with burnout often see a decline in their work quality, relationships, and overall well-being. The more they tried to achieve, the less they actually enjoyed, and the less effective they became.

Finding the Sweet Spot: “Enough” is Perfect

The lesson from the oranges is that sometimes “enough” is perfect. Working at a sustainable pace, putting in just enough effort to feel joyful and allowing time for rest, can be more effective and rewarding in the long run than overexerting ourselves.

We need to learn to recognize when we’ve reached that point of “perfect sweetness.” To appreciate our achievements, enjoy the journey, and know when to stop before things turn bitter.

This isn’t about laziness or complacency. It’s about sustainability. It’s about understanding our own limits and working with them, not against them. It’s about recognizing that rest and joy are not luxuries, but essential ingredients for long-term success and well-being.

A Sweeter Year: Working Within Limits

In 2024, I decided to change things up and work within my limits. I told myself: just 3 to 4 hours of work a day, maximum. In that time, I’d focus and get as much done as possible. But when those hours were up, I’d stop. No more squeezing. Just be content with what I got done and know that I can get back to it tomorrow.

Of course, I didn’t crank out as much stuff as I would have liked to that year. I wrote only 9 articles and read 10 books. But you know what? I actually enjoyed doing them again. Working felt good after a very long time. Also surprisingly, even with less time at work, our Chromebook sales in 2024 surpassed those of the hectic year in 2022! It showed me that working all the time isn’t always the way to get the best results.

Savor the Sweetness, Avoid the Bitter

Next time you feel like pushing yourself too hard for more, think of the bitter orange juice. Keep in mind that being productive and joyful doesn’t always mean working harder, but rather finding the right balance of “just enough.” Let’s aim to squeeze out juice that is enjoyed by everyone, including ourselves, and avoid the bitter taste of burnout.

True success may not be about how much we achieve, but rather the joy and contentment we find along the way. Leaving a bit of juice in the orange can help us enjoy the filled pitcher without bitterness.

Follow the Journey

This journal is my way of making sense of the lessons from the journey. Get the next full entry delivered straight to your inbox.

Finding Balance Again: My Vestibular Neuritis Journey

Have you ever heard of vestibular neuritis? Me neither. I never knew it existed until I was diagnosed with it in February 2023.

Disclaimer: This blog post shares my personal experience and should not be considered medical advice. Always consult with a healthcare professional for diagnosis and treatment.

What Is Vestibular Neuritis?

It’s inflammation of the inner ear nerves, often due to a viral infection like coronavirus or influenza. Symptoms include vertigo, dizziness, balance issues, and nausea. My doctor also calls it “viral vertigo.”

I was back and forth on whether I should write this or not. I’m trying to forget my experience with vestibular neuritis, as it was one of the hardest times in my life. Reliving it could be painful.

But I’m writing this for you, the person who might have just been diagnosed, who feels lost and scared. Because recovery from vestibular neuritis is a marathon. Days stretch into months, and months feel like an eternity. You might doubt you’ll ever enjoy life again.

I’m here to tell you: You will recover. You will get your life back. Just hang on. I desperately wish someone had told me that two years ago. This condition is rare, and I felt profoundly alone, even misunderstood. I didn’t know where to turn for even a glimmer of hope. This article is my attempt to offer that hope, drawn from the fragmented memories I am willing to revisit. Please pray for me as I try to piece this together.

The Beginning

It’s hard to pinpoint the exact moment it all started. It might have been that afternoon, while washing dishes, when the floor suddenly felt like it was shaking. I thought it was an earthquake, but the hanging lights were still. Then, it happened again – that unsettling feeling of the floor moving beneath me. I felt like I was walking on a trampoline or a water bed. “I’m just tired,” I told myself, hoping a nap would fix things.

It didn’t. That two-hour nap made me feel worse, and it marked the beginning of a very long and difficult journey.

A Symphony of Symptoms

The vestibular nerve, located in our inner ear, sends crucial information about balance and spatial orientation to our brain. When this nerve becomes inflamed, it disrupts this communication, causing a cascade of symptoms.

I encountered a range of sensations, yet I’m uncertain if they were all directly linked to the viral vertigo. I’ll categorize them according to what I believe to be the primary symptoms and their likely related effects.

Primary Symptoms (Likely directly from vestibular neuritis)

Vertigo

This wasn’t just dizziness; it was the distinct sensation of my surroundings moving. Not a chaotic spin, but rather a subtle, disconcerting motion—walls appear to close in or occasionally seem to sway and dance. It was a genuinely scary feeling.

Dizziness

This wasn’t the kind that makes you want to vomit. It was more like being lightheaded or tipsy. Bright lights, clutter, and moving objects seemed to trigger it. This made places like supermarkets, churches, and shopping malls incredibly difficult. Even scrolling on my phone could trigger dizzy spells.

Imbalance

I could walk in a straight line, but something felt off. The “trampoline” feeling is the best way I can describe it. It’s similar to that falling sensation you sometimes get in your sleep, but while awake. This feeling was worse in dark or enclosed spaces; I felt much more stable outdoors.

Migraines

I experienced recurring headaches and significant eye strain during this period. 

Difficulty Processing Information

Reading, writing, and looking at screens (text or moving pictures) became incredibly difficult. It caused eye pain and a strange sensation in my brain.

Weird vision

It might have been my imagination, but I sometimes felt my eyes moving on their own—glancing up or down for a moment. There were also moments of brief darkness, like a flicker of a light or a bird quickly passing by.

Secondary Symptoms (Likely related effects)

Lack of Energy

I could only function for about ten minutes a day, at most. Anything beyond that was a struggle. I spent most of my days in bed, staring at the ceiling. The medication, betahistine (taken twice daily), likely contributed to this lethargy.

Anxiety Disorder

My doctor initially said vestibular neuritis might last one to three months. When I reached the four-month mark with no improvement, panic set in. I started to question the diagnosis: “Maybe I was misdiagnosed.”

I sought second and third opinions from other ENTs, who both confirmed that my ears appeared normal. But I felt anything but normal. This escalated my anxiety, prompting me to consult a variety of specialists: an ophthalmologist (who diagnosed me with ocular hypertension—an issue unrelated to my vertigo); a neurologist; a cardiologist; and even a dentist (to eliminate the possibility of TMJ). Thankfully, all tests came back normal except for the eye issue.

The anxiety was overwhelming. I felt the need to see a doctor every week, desperate for answers. I even tried chiropractic treatment, thinking it might be a spinal problem.

Depression

Seven months in, and I felt utterly defeated. Epley maneuvers, vestibular exercises, chiropractic treatments – nothing seemed to work. This is when I truly understood the meaning of “living in a cruel world.” Everything felt dull, hopeless, and meaningless. I was at the end of my rope.

The Road To Recovery

Just as the onset was gradual, so was the recovery. I can’t pinpoint a specific turning point, but I estimate it was somewhere between the 10th and 12th months. A pivotal change occurred when I made the deliberate choice to surrender my circumstances to God and prioritize living my best life, regardless of my condition.

A key step was that I had a final consultation with my original ENT to confirm that it was indeed vestibular neuritis and not something more serious. He provided a detailed explanation, confirming it was an inner ear problem and emphasizing that there was no quick fix. We could only manage the symptoms and allow time for healing. I chose to cling to his words, regardless of my doubts and fears.

I know you might be here searching for a silver bullet, and I’m sorry to disappoint you. I can’t offer a miracle cure, only my empathy and my story. But these are the practical changes that I believe significantly helped me on my path to recovery:

Exercise

Even though I felt utterly drained, I forced myself to start exercising. I began with 10-minute walks, gradually increasing to 20 minutes. Later, I incorporated lightweight training, following the push-pull-legs workout program from Darebee.

Massage and Stretching

I read that tight neck muscles could contribute to migraines, vertigo, dizziness, and vision problems. So, I started regular stretching and massage focused on that area. You can read more about it here.

Supplements

I started taking supplements, including vitamin A, B-complex, and collagen, aiming to support overall nerve health and tissue repair.

[It’s important to note here that while supplements can be helpful, they should not replace medical advice.]

Travel

This may not be ideal for everyone, but I decided to take my family on a trip to Osaka, even though I was still experiencing symptoms. I was powering through it the entire time, but the joy of spending time with my family was incredibly restorative.

Community

 I cannot overstate the importance of having a strong support system. My friends and family listened to my frustrations, offered unwavering encouragement, and prayed with me. They were my lifeline during this incredibly difficult time.

Bottom Line

Vestibular neuritis is a difficult condition caused by a virus affecting the inner ear, leading to a range of debilitating symptoms. Although there is currently no direct cure to reverse nerve damage, treatment primarily aims to manage symptoms and assist the brain in adapting to the imbalance. The good news is that most people recover fully, and recurrences are rare because they usually develop immunity to the specific virus. Remember, you are not alone, and recovery is possible. Hold onto hope, and don’t be afraid to seek support.

For more information on vestibular disorders, visit Vestibular Disorders Association (VeDA).

Have you experienced vestibular neuritis? Share your story in the comments below.

Follow the Journey

This journal is my way of making sense of the lessons from the journey. Get the next full entry delivered straight to your inbox.