Remember when working from home sounded like the ultimate dream? For us dads, it’s about providing for the family while being present for lunch breaks, spontaneous hugs, and the joy of hearing the kids laugh during meetings. For a lot of us in the Philippines, working from home just became the new normal, probably because we had to adapt to what was happening worldwide. I’ve been grateful to live this WFH life since 2016 – the flexibility has been a genuine blessing.
But let’s be honest, fellow dads. If you’re working from your living room, dining table, or maybe a small corner carved out as your “office,” you know the truth: WFH isn’t stress-free. Stress simply takes on a different form. It presents a unique landscape of home office struggles, different from the corporate world but just as real.
It’s less about escaping stress entirely, and more about choosing – and learning to navigate – a different kind. A kind that we chose to bear.
Trading Stressors: From Office Gridlock to Home Hurdles
I don’t miss the hours stuck in Metro Manila traffic, the energy drained before the workday even began. I don’t miss navigating tricky office politics or shelling out significant pesos just to maintain a workspace outside the home. Escaping those felt like freedom.
But swapping the commute for the couch, or the cubicle for the foldable Lifetime table, introduced a new set of remote work difficulties.
Common Home Office Struggles for PH Dads (& Our Approach)
Here are some common challenges many Filipino WFH dads wrestle with, along with how a “Learning Dad” mindset helps us approach them:
1. The Ever-Blurring Lines (Difficulty Disconnecting)
The Challenge: Your office is your home. The laptop is constantly within reach. Work often spills into evenings, interrupting family time with “just one more box” to tick. It can leave you feeling busy but unproductive in both areas. The ‘time in/time out’ vanishes.
The Learning Dad Approach: Intentional Design. We learn that boundaries aren’t automatic; they need to be designed. This isn’t about rigid rules or legalism; it’s about conscious choices.
Try: Set clear start and end times for work, and communicate it clearly with your family. Establish a brief routine for ‘start-up’ such as a short prayer, a cup of coffee, or 10-rep push-ups. For ‘shutdown’, perhaps closing your laptop, taking a quick shower, or taking a 10-minute walk outside. It won’t be as easy, especially when there’s a deadline, but it’s a skill we need to practice.
2. The Constant Current (Interruptions & Challenges of Focusing at Home)
The Challenge: You chose WFH partly to be present, but let’s also admit that deep work requires focus. Our kids, understandably, often equate our presence with availability. Doors close, but little knocks persist. Important calls get photobombed. And yes, sometimes the frustration bubbles up (I’ll admit, I’ve had moments of growling at them when I’m disturbed while deep in the ‘zone’!). Constant interruptions can lead to dad burnout. Add in our spouse’s needs or household demands, and focus feels fragile.
The Learning Dad Approach: Realistic Expectations & Proactive Communication. We learn that some interruption is inevitable. The goal isn’t a silent sanctuary, but better boundary management.
Try: Use simple signs (like a note on the door) to indicate when you need quiet time. Clearly communicate your needs, such as “Dad needs quiet time until X o’clock.” Plan short breaks between work sessions and talk with your spouse about how to support each other during focused work time.
For me, I use this cube timer as an “indicator” that I’m in deep work. When this is running, Lalaine and the kids know that I cannot be disturbed unless it’s an emergency. Maintaining balance is crucial to avoid giving the impression that our work is more important than our relationship with them.
3. The “Available” Assumption (Family Favors & Cultural Nuances)
The Challenge: Here in the Philippines, strong family ties are a blessing, but they can add another layer to our home office struggles. Being “at home,” extended families may think we have “more free time” or “are not really working,” leading them to ask for favors like running errands (“Pasuyo, pwedeng paki…”). There can be a subtle stigma, an ego hit. You want to help, but you also know there are works that need to be done.
The Learning Dad Approach: Confident Kindness & Internal Validation. We learn to set boundaries respectfully but firmly.
Try: Politely explain you’re in work mode and offer alternative times if possible. Consolidate errands that you can do (not out of the way), and importantly, separate your self-worth from how others perceive your work.
4. The Four Walls Closing In (Cabin Fever & Isolation)
The Challenge: Day in, day out, the same environment. Fewer spontaneous chats, less separation between work and leisure. WFH life can sometimes feel monotonous, leading to restlessness, irritability, or loneliness – classic cabin fever. This is a real factor in home office struggles impacting mental well-being.
The Learning Dad Approach: Willful Time for Variety & Connection. We need to create the variety and connection the office might have provided passively.
Try: Schedule short daily outdoor breaks, set aside time for virtual or in-person chats with friends or colleagues, differentiate weekends from weekdays with planned family outings or local exploration, and pursue a non-work hobby.
Joining a regular online small group Bible study helped me mitigate the feeling of repetitiveness and isolation each week.
Conclusion: Choose Your Challenge, Embrace the Growth
Working from home isn’t necessarily less stressful; it just involves different stresses, often allowing us to spend more time with our families.
The real journey isn’t finding a stress-free existence (does that even exist?). It’s about deliberately choosing our challenges and embracing the Learning Dad journey: observing home office struggles, learning strategies, trying new methods, adapting, and being kind to ourselves throughout the process.
Navigating the challenges of focusing at home and overcoming remote work difficulties takes practice and self-compassion. They are an essential part of building a fully intentional fatherhood. With determination and a growth mindset, we can create a WFH life that suits us and our families in the Philippines.
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